October Schmoctober

This week, I was awfully excited to receive an email from a nice lady who worked for a company I had never heard of, telling me I had won a competition via The Making Spot.  Problem was, she didn't tell me what I'd won and I had no idea.  S'not really a problem though, is it?  It's just a pleasant surprise when it arrives......and arrive it did, in a great big box! 

Patience is not a known virtue in this house.  Neither is the skill of being able to see through cardboard but it didn't stop her trying for twenty minutes.  I could've opened it a lot sooner but watching her trying to get various sunglasses to work as X-ray specs was just too good a spectacle *snort* to miss.

Back to the prize, ta-dah!

I'd won a Big Shot Sissix with two dies, a puppy and a tree!  How exciting! We'd used one of these during out Make Do and Mend sessions in the library and I loved the clean lines I got on wee footery shapes.  Also remarkably small child friendly; she loves turning the handle, there's no obvious sharp edges and, as long as I keep an eye on her juuuuuust to make sure she doesn't Tom n Jerry her fingers through the roller, she'd happily cut out puppies and trees from newspaper/coloured paper/important car-related documents all day.  Cue a living room that looked a little like a Moonie Dog training class.

I am yet to think what I'm actually going to do with it but it'll come in handy one day, I'm sure.  I can see it being very useful if you were a quilter because you can buy a die that cuts perfect squares.  I can't cut a straight line to save myself so if I was interesting in quilting, which I'm not, it would be a godsend.

Other things I have being doing include.....

-Painting my nails, like, totally all the time.  Obsessed.

-Making lentil soup.  This recipe in particular.  It's a great recipe- chuck in spinach for added goodness.

-Went ice skating and I sucked at it, which surprised me, given my roller skating skillz :-P

-Started making Christmas cakes

Cannae beat a Delia Smith Christmas cake. Made one last year and it was pronounced Flora's favourite cake ever.  Granted, she has tried a LOT of cakes since but she's pretty excited about these ones too.  Except she no longer likes raisins.....or currants.....or sultanas.  Now brandy, that's a different story.

And I went to give blood.  There had been an urgent call for donations and I was in town and fancied a biscuit.  Took myself off to the Blood Donation Centre in Glasgow and joined a very ad-hoc queuing system, chock-full of other right-minded individuals. So, when it was maybe my turn, a cheerless/harassed receptionist took my name, couldn't spell it (forgiveable) and then told me I didn't exist.  Turns out you can't give blood if you don't exist.  Receptionist had to phone 'someone' who could fix my non-existence and I would need to "sit over there."

     "There's no seat."

"Well, just sit over there and I'll bring you one."

  

     "?????"

Already this has taken ten minutes longer than everyone else before me and the giganta-queue is getting restless.  And nosey. 

Blood donor nurse comes over, "Claire?  Can you come with me?  If you could just come over to this cubicle.  We need to talk to you about something.  It's not a donation, it's about something on your form.  Follow me" 

I followed her.  And so did forty pairs of eyes.  Beamer.

"Sorry about that.  People get a bit narked when they think you are skipping the queue."

   "Really?  You do realise that they all think I've got some terrible disease or I've had SEX WITH HUNDREDS OF GAY MEN IN AFRICA?!" 

Imagine an unexpected and odd silence.  Imagine it happening just as I, in frazzled-talk-too-loud mode, say the last part of my sentence.  Imagine forty heads swivelling, the sound of clipboards dropping, loud coughing fits and choking, flocks of birds taking to the skies, music coming to a scratchy and abrupt end etc etc .  My interviewing nurse nearly died laughing.  I nearly died of embarrassment.

Once she unfolded me from my foetal position, she took three attempts- two pin pricks, one blood sample- to determine that I had enough iron in my blood to give blood and gleefully announced, "I knew we'd get you in the end!", then I was allowed to donate.  I existed, I was full of iron and an absolute wreck.

It wasn't all bad.  Got one of these out of it.

Blanket update.......blanket update.......blanket..oh, for goodness' sake, I've done nothing.  Will rectify next week.  Maybe.

Night

Luv Egg on a Stick x

September

September's a funny ol' month, isn't it?  We always seem to have a holiday in September (not necessarily the smartest thing to do in the same month that you have to pay for your car tax, MOT and insurance, vast quantity of repairs notwithstanding).  Flora started Big Girl Nursery, which has not been as stress-free as any of us would've liked.  And it's got COLD.  

The holiday was a hoot.  A week in Center Parcs in Sherwood Forest in September may not be everyone's idea of a rare holiday but it suits us just fine.  Let's face it, in heat waves (anything above 20 deg C) I have been known to actually swoon, and my fair, Scottish skin practically screams itself hoarse objecting to unfamiliar UV rays.

Flora is at just the right age to go to Center Parcs; old enough to enjoy play parks and swimming, chasing squirrels, trying to find fairies and attempting to cycle and roller skate aka free shit, and still too young to understand there's a lot of VERY expensive activities on offer.  It's an extraordinarily (and prohibitively) pricey place to go if you wanted to actually do anything you have to pay for.  Thank goodness we are a bunch of lazy gits who don't.  Some cool trees in Sherwood Forest though, lots of scope for Robin Hood- based frivolity. 

Before we went away, Flora started Nursery, three afternoons a week.  Day one was fine, day two she freaked and didn't want to go in at all.  It's not my thing to make her do something she doesn't want to do, mainly because I am a lazy fecker and can't be doing with the screaming, tears and mentalness that is three year old in meltdown, but here's the thing.....she loves the damn place!  When I pick her up, she doesn't want to leave, she spends the rest of the day telling us how it's her favourite place in the whole world, how much she loves her old friends, her new friends, dressing up, making smiley faces, not eating snacks and, her absolute favourite, outside playtime.  Then the next day, all morning, 'I don't want to go to Nursery, I don't like it!'  Needless to say, it's been a little trying.  Getting better though.  Following her wee holiday she seems a little happier; I've only had a plimsoll in the face once this week.

And it's COLD.  We/I have an unwritten rule that the heating doesn't go on until Andy's birthday, which is in October.  We never last that long (have you ever been to Scotland?!) but we try, however the temperature seemed to plummet this week leaving our poor wee house shivering on its foundations.  Yet, despite these Arctic conditions, I appear to have developed itchy 'hayfever eye'.  Or maybe it was the plimsoll.

Roller skating's coming on a treat.  Averaging only half a fall per session now.  Last crash was a belter though.  Lanky fella in front of me came to an abrupt stop when his legs stopped going in the same direction, his skates caught mine and we both ended up in a tangled heap. Coulda been the start of something beautiful if it weren't for the momentum that kept my skate going, going, going until the toe-stopper near disappeared up his arse *wince*  It's amazing how quickly you can pull yourself up, stutter apologies and skate off, red-faced and brown-stoppered.  

Sorry about that.

Laters, dudes.

Luv, Egg on a Stick

Final Make Do and Mend project...sniff

It had to happen.  It was inevitable.  The last of the Make Do and Mend classes at the library.  And my most successful one yet, I think, although I must come clean, the hand sewing was all done at home over several  laborious, finger-pricking, inventive-swearing nights.  I ain't that fast a learner.

Flora starts Nursery this week. I'm OK about it, thanks for asking.  She's only been at home with me (or I've been at home with her?) for her entire life.  Reassuringly she's really looking forward to it, the Nursery she's going to is ace, she's not going full-time (thank goodness)- it's all good.  And I get a whole 2 hours to crochet....make bags..... sleep..... try and restore order to Casa Egg, the great midden.  So the bag is for her to store her comprehensive list of exciting Nursery requirements (new red wellies are particularly exciting for a 3(7) year old Paddington Bear fan).

Oh, apologies for photos being a bit, well a bit crap.  Have requested More Time and Uninterrupted Typing for my Christmas (along with this, these and this.  I am such a closet 13 year old girl).

(See that box of crochet threads?  I got them in a charity shop ages ago and I have no idea what to do with them.  So I left it on my radiator.  Will move it in the winter, on the off chance my husband feels generous and the heating goes on; one wouldn't want the Lifestyle Fragrance of Eau de Foostay Croshay Thread to fill the house)

The idea is to add the important dates as they come up: primary school, secondary school, University, prison etc.  I don't expect her to use it for school but it would be nice if it was still hanging around by then and not mouldering in a heap under her bed.

Rabbit being eaten by an F.  You don't see that every day.

Already cut out the bits for my next bag and have a request to make two more for my sister's twins.  Hooked!

Night,

Luv Egg on a Stick x

Sunday

Small children require an annoying amount of entertaining and supervision.  Today was another day when she  wasn't content staying in with pins, scissors and perilous loft ladders whilst I watched the Olympics- très inconsiderate, non?  Given the option, Flora always plumps for the spectacular New Museum but, as it's in Edinburgh and the Fringe has just started and the Capital is complete mayhem, we headed to her second choice, the Car Museum or, as maybe a handful of people actually call it, the Riverside Museum.

Designed by Zaha Hadid, it's an impressive building.  It is built on industrial wasteland, on the banks of the Clyde and there's very little immediately round about it.  Snaking along the side of the river with this enormous glass front, looking like a huge heartbeat, it replaces long-lost shipyards and warehouses.  Can you tell we were there early?

There are a couple of reasons Flora loves this museum.  Firstly, there are interactive screens dotted all over the place.  She is part of the incredible touch screen generation; easily confused by screens that don't immediately respond to her sticky swiping but utterly entranced by ones that do.  She can conduct her way through great swathes of information without actually reading any of it but don't try to keep up; her need to move things along swiftly outweighs your need to learn more of the electric tram system of Glasgow in the 1950s.

Secondly, although everything is quite squished together, it's really accessible for small people.  And Dads.  And isn't that a winning combination?

Anything with a tunnel wins points with this child.  There's a tiny exhibition of tea sets in the tunnel that only small people can access.  Cute.

And I love it too.  Whilst there is a fair amount of general transport and travel history, the emphasis is how Scottish people, particularly Glaswegians, invent, live and interact with their infrastructure.  It's a great place for eavesdropping as there are always people pointing and saying, 'You're great-grandad drove one of them' or 'Do you remember when Annie left her knickers on the No 37?'  This time, I overheard a grandad telling his teenage grandson about his participation in the Clydeside ship yard work-in in 1971, saw a group of senior ladies reliving their youth in the recreated Italian Cafe (Annie wasn't there but her knickers were the source of much pant-wetting hilarity) and a disbelieving wee girl being proudly told that her granny did indeed wear skirts that short and go on bikes that fast.....at the same time!  Proper living history.  

One of the exhibitions I hadn't seen before was a talking-head from cyclist, Graham Obree.  A troubled character, he broke a world record but it wasn't the one he wanted to break so he set about it breaking it again....the next day!  Knowing he couldn't afford to let his muscles seize up and aware that an alarm clock would be too much of a shock to his system, he relied on a more natural way to wake up to stretch- he drank an enormous amount of water, woke up to pee, did his stretches, drank even more water, went to sleep, woke up to pee and so on.  He did this every two hours, went to the track the next day and broke the record he wanted to break.  He did it on a bike he made himself, from parts of an old washing machine! Amazing.

Yep, that's a train sticking out.  An actual engine.  I believe it was lifted in mid-way through building and the construction completed round about it.  There's lots of exhibits that are worth a mention: the Humane Society boat, the pretend Subway train, the oldest bike in the world (maybe!), a beautiful display of model boats....too much to really cover in this wee blog, especially when photographs were curtailed by the entrance of ominous skies, thunder and lightning and mad dashing for the car.  Oh, and this....

Would make a good Superhero name that, The Dainty Muff Warmer.  I imagine him to be rather dashing and dapper, with brisk hands and a nice manner.  Wherever there are muffs feeling chilly....

So, if you're in Glasgow, pay the Riverside Museum (and its sister museum, Kelvingrove aka the Animal museum)  a visit.  There's loads to see and the parking is cheap.  But take your own food. The restaurant is pants (but the tea is only £1.10- bargain!).

Luv Egg on a Stick x

My Latest Sewing Adventures

The latest instalment of Make Do and Mend in Dumbarton Library was slightly more straightforward.  Last week's was a tote bag, which I eagerly looked forward to making....until there were no written instructions.  I don't really function very well without a guide and, in the end, made a complete cock of it.  I sewed my handles on the wrong way.  You know, like a pair of dungarees rather than a bag?  Do you get me?  Am I alone in immediately losing interest in something when it isn't right?  One day I might unpick and redo but the moment has gone.  

Bored now.  Move on.  But yes, that IS a jammy dodger.  Well spotted, reader.

This week's task was.....a mobile phone cover to protect your phone when you drop it!  Hurrah!  I'm always dropping my phone and desperately needed a cover.  Excellent.  But wait.  I forgot.

I dropped my phone.

I shattered the screen and it had been sent to the menders the previous day and I had forgotten to take measurements. Perhaps I was grief-stricken; I do not function well without my phone.

Oops.

Ha HA!  A netbook cover was what was needed.  I don't drop my netbook quite as often as I drop my phone but some kind of protection would be a good idea.  It is my third (and cheapest) laptop since Flora was born, after all......

With Flora Flora Fabric Chooser, I made my cover with some denim material I had donated, and someone else's old top.  It was also donated, not just demanded at needle-point.  Turned out pretty nice in the end and I even tried my hand at a wee bit of machine quilting.  I know!  Me! 

So it's a little squint and the super-duper-practical-yet-decorative flap only really exists 'cos I cut the original material too short.  And I had to hand-sew (I typed that really slowly to emphasise the point) the whole thing together because the wadding made it too fat to join on the sewing machine, thus ensuring plenty of bad language and bloodstains (felt right at home in our library, fnar fnar).  I turned down the offer of a 'Handmade with Love' label.  It could never be anything else.

I like this set of workshops.  Mainly because they are free and we've been in really good company, but also because the biggest fear I have with sewing is not the sewing, but the cutting.  In the past, I've bought really beautiful material that's still in the cupboard because I lack the courage to cut it.  I am frightened of The Expensive Mistake.

The library received a lot of donated fabric; some of it is lovely to use, some horrendous, but because there is so much, there's not the same worry about making a mess of cutting it. So, I make mistakes and it's OK.  Even better, I learn how to avoid making those mistakes again.  Can you ask of anything more from a free workshop?

Laters

Luv Egg on a Stick x

What am I thinking????

My lovely friend, Scout, has been bitten by the crochet bug.  To put it simply....she is hooked (har, har, har).  Following some small practise projects, she is taking it to the next level by tackling a great big ripple blanket.  

IT'S ALL HER FAULT!  Normally, the idea of a large scale project like a blanket is an anathema to me; I know the initial excitement fades, the boundless motivation soon leaves, the overwhelming resentment kicks in and the blanket becomes a big, woolly millstone glaring at me malevolently from the M & S bag it's been ingloriously stuffed into. The rapid descent from eager-beaver to cannae-be-arsed-molerat is unavoidable.

My extensively researched graph

So, why did I allow myself to get so caught up in her plans?  Why have I just created a foundation chain that is (count 'em) 285 stitches long?

Why have I just spent £60 on Rico Creative Cotton in various shades of yellow/orange/red?

Why have I spent an entire afternoon trying to crochet Little Woollie's beautiful Star Stitch, only to decide that, um, actually, I can only see myself ever completing a blanket stitched solely in Half -Trebles?

I blame Scout.  Her enthusiasm is infectious.  The baby cashmerino yarn she bought was so pretty.  She even got to go on a solo, leisurely recon trip to John Lewis and enjoy the.......              

‎`´✫¸.•°*˜˜*°•✫ Wonderful Wall of Wool ✫¸.•°*˜˜*°•.✫

Alone

Without children

Or husband

*Sigh*  

I should know better, however, what is done is done and I hereby name this project..................

 'Flora's 21st Birthday blanket' 

Do you think 18 years is enough time?

To distract, here are two other things that have been made this week.

The odd looking child is wearing a bonnet/scarf combo that my husband kindly christened 'The Barf'.  I found a pattern on Ravelry and just used oddments of acrylic aran I literally had lying around the house.  Had to fiddle around with the tension a little but, in the end, as always, she'll grow into it.

Our local library is taking the global recession very seriously indeed and is running a little course of 'Make Do and Mend' afternoons.  Now, I am pretty lucky as it's my pal, Aly, that's responsible for the classes, so we got a heads up and Flora and I ambled over on Wednesday.  Two hours is a long time for a 3 year old, especially when surrounded by things she's not allowed to touch, but she really enjoyed it; she decided our cushion would have our house on it, she chose appropriate material to represent the actual fabric of the house (yes, our roof is pink fun fur.  Wanna make something of it??) and she eagerly helped me sew it all together on the sewing machines.  She also tried to stick everything together with purple glitter fabric glue, repeatedly used Aly as a climbing wall and protected the Herman cake we had brought like an Olympic Flame Security Guard who got Rottweiler teeth for Christmas but you can't have everything.

All this and I went rollerskating?

Madness.

Laters dudes

Luv Egg on a Stick x

Reluctant Jubilee participation....

Soooooooo the Jubilee.  Hmmm.  Not such a big deal North of the Border, West of the Scotland.  I can see a Union flag from my window but it is very small and timid.  No bunting, no funny hats, no street parties that I'm aware of and very little red, white and blue hoopla.  Not that we're not thankful for the bank holidays....

Bucking the trend, however, Flora's playgroup are having their own wee themed Jubilee day. Last week she super-excitedly told me that she was to dress up for next playgroup, something royal.  Despite my best efforts, she eschewed my plans for a Junior Anarchist costume and requested a princess outfit instead.  The P word is normally outlawed in this house, or greeted with cries of 'YUK!' but she was insistent. And apparently a princess outfit is a pretty dress and a yellow crown.  I'm on it.  Eventually.

Following a rummage through Ravelry for inspiration (and occasional horrified gasp), I came up with this:

I used Rico Cotton Aran in Banana, a 4.5 hook and winged it a bit with the sizing.  Flora's heid is 21" in circumference (she has a mahoosive head for such a small person!) and I made the foundation chain about 1.5" shorter at 88 stitches.  Worked out quite well but could have gone a little shorter still, maybe up to another inch?  Judge your own tension and don't worry too much- crowns look better worn placed back on the head but work equally well plonked right on top.

I did my foundation chain then turned, chained one and double crocheted along to the beginning and THEN joined the circle.  I've lost track of the number of times I've joined circles and then, three rows later, found it's turned into the most beautiful, but utterly useless, mobius strip.  By doing an extra row before joining, I find it adds a bit of sturdiness and I'm much less likely to get everything in a twist.

Alternatively, and especially if you are unsure of sizing, crochet left to right, right to left, add in appropriate turning chains and leaving nice long ends which you can use to tie round your victim's loved one's head, more like a tiara.

Crown Pattern (UK terms throughout)

slightly rude drawing of pattern

Ensure, regardless of sizing, your foundation chain is multiple of 8 stitches.


Row 1: Dc along, turn
Row 2: Ch1, (starting 2nd st from hook) dc along.  Sl st to join.
Row 3: *dc x 4, (dc, 7ch, dc), dc x 3* repeat to end
Row 4: *tr, dc, skip 3st, 9dc into arch, skip 3st, dc* repeat to end
Row 5: *dc into 1st tr, ch4, skip 5 st, (dc, 5ch, dc), ch4* repeat to end
Row 6: *dc into 1st dc, 4dc into 4ch space, 3dc into 5ch space, 4 dc into 4 ch space* repeat to end

Some (useful?) close ups

Once it's done, I think a good iron and a spot of spray starch would keep it nice and regal.  Starts to look decidedly unprincess-y when worn immediately and for hours, on one of the hottest days EVER, but it was quite nice to have such a distinguished guest to dinner and who knew that princesses only really require toast for tea (having spent a day at granny's, ingesting nothing but refined sugar and sausages)?

As for the pretty dress, turns out that really just means a clean dress in this house.  I'm sure I can find one of those...somewhere...maybe.  Actually, come to think of it, I'm sure I saw a photo of KMid wearing one of her da's old tshirts, hacked into a passable frock with some sparkles stuck on.  Sure I did.  Prob'ly in Hello or summat.

Regally yours


Luv Egg on a Stick

Decoupage and Zombies

A long-awaited day off- Nugget dismissed me from Granny's house with a, 'Have you not left yet?  Cheerio.' and I returned to base with one thing on my mind.

Decoupage.

Actually, I had two things on my mind:  decoupage and catching up on the hours and hours of TV I seem to have missed recently.  Monday's a good day for zombies, vampires and motorcycle gangs. 

Since before Flora was born we have collected Ladybird books and some are really a bit past it.  Flora's getting a new room (it's actually the same room she's meant to have always had but where else am I going to dry my washing?) and a cull was necessary.  It's my fault.  I can't leave a Ladybird book in a charity shop- it's the drawings.  How can anyone resist them?  I open the wee book and I know immediately if it was one I read as a child- it's not unknown for me to start squealing like an idiot when I recognise the pictures.  I have a thang about vintage kids' books in general.  But it's just me.  Andy & Flora roll their eyes and claim they smell (the books, not Andy and Flora. Although....) and the books languish in an unloved pile.  Some of my favourites have been old Enid Blyton short story compilations.  Utterly un-PC. Brilliant!  Uncle Robert returning from sea with cigarettes for Father and lighting his pipe in the nursery, or learning about being brave and not a 'silly little coward who will never have any friends'.  Eeek!  

  

(Off topic- I spoke to a lady today whose three year old grand-daughter has her own iPad.  *actually properly lost for words*)

So I dug out some cube shelves I bought in Mozzers for the princely sum of £2.98 and gave them a ridiculously light sanding.  Have I ever mentioned how dreadful I am at the prep work?  Even thinking about it now is making me yawn.  Dullsville. 

Once sanded, I guillotined the books.  I felt quite guilty at this stage- books aren't meant to be destroyed, are they?  But I got over it pretty quickly.  The pages looked lovely away from the mouldering covers, all piled up on my table.

Anyway, couldn't take any pictures of the actual decoupage process because my fingers were too sticky and the camera is too important but, suffice to say, there was a lot of PVA glue involved, some sharp creases and at least two incidences of swears (#1 Jumper stuck to table #2 Me stuck to jumper).

And.....voila!

 I was pretty chuffed with them.  And they hardly stuck to the table at all in the end.  

Lots of left over pages which will not go to waste.  I have been eagerly eyeing up all sorts of things to cover (glass? empty tins?  my bike???) and I think I might cut some leaf shapes and use them on the walls in a sort of mural/collage/thing for Flora to pick off the wall and get shouted at for.

Result!

Luv Egg on a Stick