Thursday, 26 July 2012

The Ten Crochet Commandments

crochet clouds of heaven, Egg on a Stick

Thou shalt not walk away from your crochet mid-row for it is slovenly.


Thou shalt store thy work-in-progress up high and away from thy children's sticky, snotty fingers.

Thou shalt actively and lasciviously covet thy neighbour's yarn.


Thou shalt have many ways to justify thy stash.


Thou shalt never have enough hooks.


Thou shalt never knowingly walk past a yarn shop.


Thou shalt abandon a granny square bedspread 
because it is getting on thy tits and is boring thee.


Thou shalt demand to watch a TV programme,
then repeatedly ask 'What's happening?' as thy can't look up.


Thou shalt learn to love blocking. EVEN IF IT KILLS THEE.


Thou shalt not take thy Lord's name in vain unless you have made a mistake at the beginning of the foundation chain that is 300 stitches long and you only noticed it on near completion of the 2nd row.  Then thou may not only use thy Lord's name, but also medieval words, words with asterixes in them and words that are made up to describe Apprentice contestants ( eg cock womble).

Here endeth the lesson.
Luv Egg on Stick x

crochet flames of hell, Egg on a Stick

Tuesday, 24 July 2012

Two Shades of Grey

The Rico Cotton Yarn order arrived today, super-speedy as always........except I've ordered the wrong grey.  

Crochet, Blanket, Egg on a Stick, yarn


It's VERY disappointing to open a parcel of yarn only to find you've been a bit of a div.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  

But I think my grey cloud is actually one with a silver lining.  After lots of careful consideration (plonking colours on top of the packet), I think I prefer it to the light grey (too lazy to return it).

So I shall unravel the light grey and do another 250 chain with the dark.  Oh joy.  I love doing foundation chains.  No, really,  I do.  No, really.

'Would you like a cup of tea?'


'Mummmmmmmmmy.  What are you doing?
'Making a very long chain of stitches for your birthday blanket.'
'Mummmmmmmmmy.  What are the yellow bits of wool for?
'So I know how many stitches I've done.  I put one in every time I've done 20.'
'Mummmmmmmmmy.  I want to make a blanket.'
'Yes. I shall make it out of all these bits of yellow wool I pulled from yours....'

Egg on a Stick was mainly brought to you by Co-op Malted Choc Biscuits, the little biscuit with a very long description on the packet.  Kinda sucks the joy out of them a wee bit. Oh no, sorry, that was me ;-)

Egg on a Stick, biscuits

 Luv Egg on a Stick x

Sunday, 22 July 2012

What am I thinking????

My lovely friend, Scout, has been bitten by the crochet bug.  To put it simply....she is hooked (har, har, har).  Following some small practise projects, she is taking it to the next level by tackling a great big ripple blanket.  

IT'S ALL HER FAULT!  Normally, the idea of a large scale project like a blanket is an anathema to me; I know the initial excitement fades, the boundless motivation soon leaves, the overwhelming resentment kicks in and the blanket becomes a big, woolly millstone glaring at me malevolently from the M & S bag it's been ingloriously stuffed into. The rapid descent from eager-beaver to cannae-be-arsed-molerat is unavoidable.

Craft Humour

My extensively researched graph

So, why did I allow myself to get so caught up in her plans?  Why have I just created a foundation chain that is (count 'em) 285 stitches long?

Crochet Blanket Half Treble Foundation Chain

Why have I just spent £60 on Rico Creative Cotton in various shades of yellow/orange/red?

Crochet Rico Creative Cotton

Why have I spent an entire afternoon trying to crochet Little Woollie's beautiful Star Stitch, only to decide that, um, actually, I can only see myself ever completing a blanket stitched solely in Half -Trebles?

Crochet Star Stitch

I blame Scout.  Her enthusiasm is infectious.  The baby cashmerino yarn she bought was so pretty.  She even got to go on a solo, leisurely recon trip to John Lewis and enjoy the.......              

‎`´✫¸.•°*˜˜*°•✫ Wonderful Wall of Wool ✫¸.•°*˜˜*°•.✫

Without children
Or husband


I should know better, however, what is done is done and I hereby name this project..................

 'Flora's 21st Birthday blanket' 

Do you think 18 years is enough time?

To distract, here are two other things that have been made this week.

Crochet Granny Stripe Hood

The odd looking child is wearing a bonnet/scarf combo that my husband kindly christened 'The Barf'.  I found a pattern on Ravelry and just used oddments of acrylic aran I literally had lying around the house.  Had to fiddle around with the tension a little but, in the end, as always, she'll grow into it.

Sewing Applique

Our local library is taking the global recession very seriously indeed and is running a little course of 'Make Do and Mend' afternoons.  Now, I am pretty lucky as it's my pal, Aly, that's responsible for the classes, so we got a heads up and Flora and I ambled over on Wednesday.  Two hours is a long time for a 3 year old, especially when surrounded by things she's not allowed to touch, but she really enjoyed it; she decided our cushion would have our house on it, she chose appropriate material to represent the actual fabric of the house (yes, our roof is pink fun fur.  Wanna make something of it??) and she eagerly helped me sew it all together on the sewing machines.  She also tried to stick everything together with purple glitter fabric glue, repeatedly used Aly as a climbing wall and protected the Herman cake we had brought like an Olympic Flame Security Guard who got Rottweiler teeth for Christmas but you can't have everything.

All this and I went rollerskating?


Laters dudes

Luv Egg on a Stick x

Thursday, 5 July 2012

My Mother...

Me:  I think that's all the crayon off the seats in Dad's car *gulp*
My Mother:  Don't worry.  I'm sure the rest will come off with some UB40.
Me:  Surely that only works on Red Red Wine?
My Mother:  ?????

Love my mother but she can be a little dim sometimes.  Amusing though.

Luv Egg on a Stick x