Thursday, 26 July 2012

The Ten Crochet Commandments

crochet clouds of heaven, Egg on a Stick

Thou shalt not walk away from your crochet mid-row for it is slovenly.


Thou shalt store thy work-in-progress up high and away from thy children's sticky, snotty fingers.

Thou shalt actively and lasciviously covet thy neighbour's yarn.


Thou shalt have many ways to justify thy stash.


Thou shalt never have enough hooks.


Thou shalt never knowingly walk past a yarn shop.


Thou shalt abandon a granny square bedspread 
because it is getting on thy tits and is boring thee.


Thou shalt demand to watch a TV programme,
then repeatedly ask 'What's happening?' as thy can't look up.


Thou shalt learn to love blocking. EVEN IF IT KILLS THEE.


Thou shalt not take thy Lord's name in vain unless you have made a mistake at the beginning of the foundation chain that is 300 stitches long and you only noticed it on near completion of the 2nd row.  Then thou may not only use thy Lord's name, but also medieval words, words with asterixes in them and words that are made up to describe Apprentice contestants ( eg cock womble).

Here endeth the lesson.
Luv Egg on Stick x

crochet flames of hell, Egg on a Stick


  1. Very clever, I hurt myself keeping the laugh in, because everyone else is still asleep. Hope you don't mind but I adapted it for scrapbooking to share with my scrappy friends. Credited to you.

    1. Knock yourself out- scrapbookers need to keep laughing in the face of all those teeny weeny bits of paper! Have fun x